Y’all. There are not even words.

I’m telling you this because my sweet friend, Amber , said, “You’ve got to blog about that!” when I told her.

This month has been tighhhhhhhttttt. We’ve managed and worked through it and had some small, unexpected blessings but we still had two days until pay day and I was struggling with my feelings toward God (Mom and Karen, we are fine, stop worrying).

You see, we tithed almost twice as much this month.

Then, I got mad at myself for even thinking that I “expected” something out of it and questioned if that’s why we did it.

Then, yesterday, Russ and I were talking about what we wanted to do this month and he suggested we tithe our normal amount then give the extra (that we gave from the previous month) to the Christmas offering. Dale had said, after all, to give your most generous gift this year.

But this small, tiny voice in my head was mad. I thought, no, we gave too much this time and now, we are not going to make it. Why would I allow myself to do it again next month?

Terrible, right?

Side note: I started The Blessed Life a couple of months ago that a precious friend (as in my serious BFF…since kindergarten) gave me, and he keeps giving and giving and giving. He was determined to outgive God and never, ever did.  So here I was, giving and even had the ridiculous thought that I outgave Him just because I did not see the return. (My friend told me today that her husband says tithing is not the stock market! So well put!)

I had rationalized it to the point of well, Heather gave me a ton of clothes! My mom paid for Kuy some clothes. My in-laws ordered our diapers and wipes, again. So all of this must equal the amount we tithed, right?

Well, yesterday I went to check the mail and grabbed the Christmas cards I found. And that’s it.

I was frustrated.

Yesterday afternoon, someone had dropped a jersey off for me in the mailbox that she got signed and I forgot about it.

This morning, I remembered and ran to grab it. When I did, I found two more envelopes.

Y’all. One of these envelopes possessed a check for the EXACT amount over we tithed.

No joke.

How does this stuff happen!?!?

AND, how naïve of ME to think God wouldn’t take care of our family?!?

Monday, I struggled with my thoughts and stressseddd over it. I talked to Russ about it and he calmed me down and the next morning, I read my devotion and felt.brand.new.

Worrying about it would change nothing. I had to trust God with everything. My devotion said we must be EMPTY before God would fill us up. Well, y’all. We were empty! AND then, look what happened!

Then, get this. I got asked to do some choreography last night for a pageant and they are paying me almost the same thing!

Talk about a coincidence. Nope, not even close. God is working through this. My devotion said this morning, if a problem persists; think of it as a tutor. What can you learn from it? What is it teaching you? Once you figure out what you are learning from it, then you can be GRATEFUL for the problem.

I found the check after I thanked God for this tough learning experience.

I’m amazed. I’m shocked.

God is awesome.

Every day.